Everything seemed to be going good, I was transitioning into new beginnings professionally, was training for a half marathon, had just finished furnishing my new apartment, work was busy but exactly how I like it and I seemed to be doing pretty well after a breakup. Life was going good according to my plans. After, a long week of training, work and meetings I was looking forward to relaxing on the weekend. Sunday started off with my long distance run, followed by some delicious food and some leg compression therapy, I was going to bed early to be ready for the week ahead. Around 11 pm I woke up with some discomfort on my lower back, made my way to the bathroom for what I thought was going to be a quick pee, and I fainted. In a matter of seconds, completely collapsed on the floor and when I opened my eyes I was on the bathroom floor with blood all over me. When I stood up and looked myself in the mirror, there I was with a huge hole right on top of my forehead. My biggest nightmare has come to life.
When I was 5 years old, I got severely burned with boiling water all over my face and chest. Doctors doubted that my face was ever getting back to normal. Maybe it was my grandmother’s prayers, maybe my luck or an overall miracle but I was left with only an arm scar on the right arm.
Thirty years later here I am facing what I escaped a few decades ago. My face was hit and I felt broken. Broken in so many ways, lonely in my apartment it took me a while to have any reaction. When I arrived in the hospital, I was taken by some close friends, scared and shocked. I couldn’t believe what was happening to me, just a few hours earlier life seemed safe and good, now here I am on the night before New Years Eve in a hospital bed with the uncertainty of what the future held for me. It was 24 hours of terror, which I don’t feel like diving deep into right now, and at 11:45pm I walked out of the hospital feeling like I was given another chance and getting home was simply the best.
I opted for not taking any medication, again this is another topic that can get really deep and personal and deserves a post by itself but I was so in tuned with everything that was happening to me that it was almost like I could hear what my body was saying. Finally, I could hear because for the past two months I avoided all the warnings and just kept pushing. But what’s done is done and my motto is always to keep walking forward. So I embraced my situation, for the first time I didn’t judge or blame myself for not preventing that from happening, for the first time I looked at my face all swollen and bruised and found beauty there, the type that came from within. We can cover ourselves up with make up, hair do, nice clothing, busy schedule, a fit body but none of this will make it up for what’s inside. And so I started posting about my circumstance, struggle, natural healing products and process and my connection with the virtual world started to grow and little by little was motivating me to keep standing strong. As my wound was healing everyone started saying it looked like a butterfly, and it perfectly did. It also perfectly made sense, it was my transitioning phase, I’ve been creating this wings, my professional plans took another direction, my marathon is going to wait but I’m ready to take off and fly.